Sick of Falling Out of Love?

The heart chakra is nurtured by love. Love is the most powerful force on the planet. It has the ability to transform pain and suffering back into a state of wellness. It is the very energy that binds and sustains all of life. Love’s power fosters true freedom and is always life affirming.

We all have a need for love. The problem is that we are often conditioned to believe that we are separate from love and that we need to seek it outside ourselves in order to be whole. But the very opposite is true; love is our Source and it nourishes us by flowing through us, not to us. We’ve all heard the saying that we cannot truly love another until we love ourselves and this is an example of why. But even if we love ourselves, we each have a threshold for how much love we can give and receive based on our childhood experiences. The more open our heart is the greater capacity we have to love.

Being in love opens and expands the heart chakra as well. We call this “falling” in love when in actuality it is love rising. When we “rise in love” we are having parts of our true selves reflected back to us without judgment. We are able to love ourselves through the reflection of the other person’s mirror before power struggles set in. Suddenly we feel more energized, alive and hopeful than ever before. When we tune into this love, the heart chakra opens and we experience expansiveness in all areas of our life. The feelings are that of joy and happiness and those do wonders for the heart chakra.

Even health problems seem to improve and that’s because the heart chakra supercharges our immune system. We feel more creative, intelligent and more attractive. This is why when we first “rise” in love it seems magical. In the beginning, it is much easier to give love freely when we have not yet been hurt, disappointed or let down by another. When giving love unconditionally, love energy flows through us and raises our energy vibrations to such a level that we are left feeling blissful.

If our solar plexus is struggling, we will eventually sabotage this love. This is actually the “falling” out of love phase. We have given away our power and happiness by making others the custodians of our emotional wellbeing. If we have a need to receive love from another in order to feel love within, then we will be left feeling disappointed, let down and deeply unhappy. Our emotional love tank will run dry because the need itself is the emotional block to giving and receiving love. Although the intention may be good (to receive love) the very ‘need’ for love creates the illusion that we are separate from love and its source is outside of us. We expect others to continue to make us feel good about ourselves instead of doing that for ourselves. No one can hold that space for us all of the time and that expectation will eventually become a burden. Under the spell of the ego, any built up resentments start to fester and eventually destroy love between people. The end result is that the ego mind strengthens its position that we are separate and alone so we find ourselves becoming conditional lovers. We only give of our love when we feel we are emotionally being looked after. Then, what was once an expression of love, turns into a power struggle for energy.

You may have heard the saying that some people can bring out the worst or best in us depending on who they are. What might initially be character traits that attract us to an individual can soon turn into what annoys us most about them. In the beginning, it is easy to shine the light of goodness on someone with whom we have no disappointments or judgments. Over time though, through broken expectations and numerous disappointments, we might start to shine the light of judgment upon them instead. The end result is that we lose that feeling of being uplifted when we think about that individual and our hearts close down.

The highest expression of love is to allow others to be who they truly are with no judgments or expectations, just freedom to be and to live as they choose.  When we can do this we are in a state of allowing. Allowing life to unfold naturally, frees everyone involved to behave and be as they truly are. In doing so, we are granted the same freedom to express our true authentic selves and that opens all doors to love.